Podcast
Trading in Worthiness Scorecard for Love
Have you ever sat in a chapel pew, supposed to feel peace, while a silent fire alarm of perfectionism blares in your head? You are not alone, and it is not unworthiness.
Latest
advice-column
5/28/26: When "How Long Do I Have to Wait?" Is the Wrong Question
A post appeared in the LDS Dating Midsingles group this week that cut straight to the bone. A man asked, essentially, how long a spouse has to withhold sex before it becomes acceptable to seek "alternative avenues." The post gathered 93 comments in a matter of hours. The
advice-column
5/27/2026 - Is a "Barbie Figure" a Deal-Breaker? Wrong Question. Better One Below.
Someone in an LDS Dating - Midsingles Facebook group posted a question recently — framed, as these things often are, as "asking for a friend." The question: would a non-Barbie figure be a deal-breaker for men in the group? Nearly 200 comments arrived before anyone could catch their breath.
blog
WCS Post 4: When Repentance Becomes the Problem
Repentance itself doesn't break people. But when the prescribed process, the one meant to restore someone, instead convinces them more deeply than before that they are fundamentally unfit for the grace of God and the fellowship of those who follow him, that process is the problem.
Podcast
Does LDS Worthiness Culture Harm or Help Individuals?
A reflective conversation about how cultures of worthiness can become private perfectionism — and how to reclaim belonging without performing for approval.
advice-column
May 8, 2026: When Even a Good Man Feels Like One More Thing on the List
Ever met a great guy and realized you don't want a date, you just want a nap? You aren't broken. If romance feels like adding one more chore to your endless to-do list, pay attention: exhaustion is information. Here is why you are allowed to go slower than the chemistry.
blog
When the Inquisition Comes for You
An anonymous Facebook post about dating exhaustion recently turned into a vicious moral purity spiral. What happened in that thread wasn't an anomaly. It was a perfect, real-time demonstration of Worthiness Culture... and data shows is hemorrhaging the church's most devoted members.
advice-column
May 7, 2026: You Are Not Behind. You Are Running the Wrong Simulation.
Wild rats swim for 15 minutes before they give up. Rescued rats swim for 60 HOURS. You're not broken. You just haven't been rescued yet. 🐀
advice-column
May 6, 2026: The Story You Keep Telling About Them Is Actually About You
You've told the story of what they did 10,000 times. Research shows every single retelling makes the grip tighter. The person you can't stop thinking about might actually be you. 👀
blog
WCS Post 3: Loved Anyway
I asked her 'are we over?' after we'd already worked it out. She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. 'When I work it out, I move on.' It was the first time in my life I'd seen what real forgiveness actually looks like.
advice-column
May 5, 2026: Prayer- You Don't Have to Know Who's Listening
You stopped praying because it felt like a lie. Science says that was the most expensive thing you gave up. You didn't have to lose it. 🙏
blog
WCS Post 2: The Covert Contract Nobody Signed
It didn't start in your marriage or end with your divorce. You're not bad at relationships. You're running a contract nobody agreed to — and wondering why nobody shows up to pay.